Sing Along with the Autobots!
by Moxie Thuringwethil
Summary: The problem is that as long as battle calls/Bots and Cons will fight until one faction falls/Although this latest filk doesn't list them all/There must be... '50 Ways To Hit A Seeker'
1. Oh No: The Decepticon Song

"Oh No (The Decepticon Song)" - sung by Beachcomber,  
with other Autobots on backing vocals (in **bold text**)

_Music: "Day-O (The Banana Boat Song)", (c)1955 by Harry Belafonte_

* * *

Oh no, o-o-oh no  
'Cons attack, they won't leave us alone  
Oh, I say oh, I say oh, I say oh, I say oh, I say o-o-oh no,  
'Cons attack, they won't leave us alone

Fly halfway 'cross the galaxy  
**'Cons attack, they won't leave us alone**  
Those Decepticons won't let us be  
**'Cons attack, they won't leave us alone**

We follow Optimus, follow him to battle  
**'Cons attack, they won't leave us alone**  
Though just the thought of war makes my circuits rattle  
**'Cons attack, they won't leave us alone**

There's Megatron fired by Soundwave - go!  
**'Cons attack, they won't leave us alone**  
Little cassetticons all in a row  
**'Cons attack, they won't leave us alone**

Oh, I say o-o-oh no  
**'Cons attack, they won't leave us alone**  
Oh, I say oh, I say oh, I say oh, I say oh, I say oh, I say o-o-oh no,  
**'Cons attack, they won't leave us alone**

Your beautiful world caught in our battle  
**'Cons attack, they won't leave us alone**  
They call this damage collateral  
**'Cons attack, they won't leave us alone**

There's Starscream, Skywarp, Thundercracker, hey!  
**'Cons attack, they won't leave us alone**  
Dirge, Thrust, Ramjet all in our way  
**'Cons attack, they won't leave us alone**

We follow Optimus, follow him to battle  
**'Cons attack, they won't leave us alone**  
Though just the thought of war makes my circuits rattle  
**'Cons attack, they won't leave us alone**

Oh no, o-o-oh no  
**'Cons attack, they won't leave us alone**  
Oh, I say oh, I say oh, I say oh, I say oh, I say o-o-oh no,  
**'Cons attack, they won't leave us alone**


	2. Thank Prime I'm An Autobot

"Thank Prime I'm An Autobot" - vocals by Bumblebee, Cliffjumper, Cosmos, Gears, Powerglide, Seaspray, Warpath, and Windcharger (The Minibot extravaganza continues ;) )  
********_  
Music: "Thank God I'm a Country Boy", (c) 1974 John Denver_

* * *

WARPATH: Wow! Life on the Ark ain't - Zowie! - laid back  
Seems - Blam! - every other day the 'Cons attack  
So - Woohoo! - we go hit 'em - Pow! - right back  
Thank Prime I'm an Autobot!

COSMOS: I orbit 'round the Earth nearly every day and night  
Watching for Decepticons from that lofty height  
When I see 'em, call the others and we'll all put it right  
Thank Prime I'm an Autobot!

ALL 8: There's a lot we can do even though we're all little  
While the war's goin' on you'll find us in the middle  
Why everyone still underestimates us is a riddle  
Thank Prime that we're Autobots!

SEASPRAY: Cybertron hasn't got much for liquid these days  
So I cruise along Earth's rivers, oceans, and bays  
Sail along with me, everybody - we'll catch a wave!  
Thank Prime I'm an Autobot!

GEARS: I'd rather be anywhere else if I could  
But to give this place up to the 'Cons would do no good  
So I stay here and complain, but I help when I should -  
Thank Prime I'm an Autobot!

ALL 8: There's a lot we can do even though we're all little  
While the war's goin' on you'll find us in the middle  
Why everyone still underestimates us is a riddle  
Thank Prime that we're Autobots!

POWERGLIDE: I'm the aerial support when the 'Bots are in a fix  
They wouldn't get very far without my acrobatic tricks  
Hey, Decepticreeps, I got you all outnumbered one to six!  
Thank Prime I'm an Autobot!

WINDCHARGER: No one ever pays attention to nondescript me  
But I can do my share on the battlefield, you see  
For I've got a magnetic personality!  
Thank Prime I'm an Autobot!

ALL 8: There's a lot we can do even though we're all little  
While the war's goin' on you'll find us in the middle  
Why everyone still underestimates us is a riddle  
Thank Prime that we're Autobots!

CLIFFJUMPER: Well, they call me Cliffjumper 'cause there's nothing I won't dare  
When I whip out my big gun it makes the others stop and stare  
All my targets are much bigger than me, but I don't care -  
Thank Prime I'm an Autobot!

BUMBLEBEE: Spike's embarrassed 'cause he says that this song isn't cool  
And he's worried if his friends hear us they'll laugh him out of school  
But it's 'cause of us they're not under Decepticon rule!  
Thank Prime I'm an Autobot!

ALL 8: There's a lot we can do even though we're all little  
While the war's goin' on you'll find us in the middle  
Why everyone still underestimates us is a riddle  
WARPATH: Yeeee-ha!  
ALL 8: Thank Prime that we're Autobots!


	3. 50 Ways To Hit A Seeker

_Music:"50 Ways to Leave Your Lover", (c) 1975 Paul Simon_

* * *

Watching all you giant robots fight is quite a thrill  
Even after more than twenty years I love it still  
Although it seems you Autobots don't shoot to kill  
There must be 50 ways to hit a Seeker.

I know they often come in teams of three or six  
But lots of Decepticons can mean more ways to get your kicks  
So I'll make a list, listen up and take your picks  
There must be 50 ways to hit a Seeker  
50 ways to hit a Seeker.

Zap them with a few volts, 'Bolt  
Kick in their rears, Gears  
Make their future look bleak, 'Streak  
Go get them, Arcee

Treat them like poop, Scoop  
Throw them all for a loop, Swoop  
Right now is the time, Prime  
To set Cybertron free

Do it with pizazz, Jazz  
Wake their wings curl, Whirl  
Keep it up 'til they've fled, Red  
Just listen to me

Ain't no charade, 'Aid  
It's more like an arcade, Raid  
So into the breach, Beach,  
And sting like a 'Bee.

You know that they would like to to see you in such pain  
And although you mostly wish to live in peace again  
I think you appreciate that can't be, so I'll explain  
About the 50 ways...

So now why don't you all transform and roll on out  
And in about twenty minutes, "Retreat!" one of them will shout  
And then you'll all see and you'll realize just what this song's about  
There must be 50 ways to hit a Seeker  
50 ways to hit a Seeker.

So just hit them right back, 'Jack  
Turn them to wrecks, 'Plex  
Aim for the wingleader, Elita,  
Or just take on all three

Bring them to ground, Hound  
Try to make a jet yowl, Prowl  
See who likes it hot, Spot  
Try this and you'll see

Play a little rougher, Huffer  
Try a hatchet, Ratchet,  
Until their optics dim, Grim,  
This war has to be

Take them for a ride, 'Glide,  
Make them wish that they'd died, 'Hide,  
If you hurt them worse, Perce,  
They'll fly back out to sea.

* * *

A/N: I did, in fact, write out 50 lines containing Autobot names or abbreviations thereof - and judging by the list as a whole, it appears the 'Bot combiner teams have noticed that the Constructicons and Stunticons both got filks, and none of them have yet. Stay tuned :)


End file.
